Here are things I have overheard in an IT department either live or via email:

• Please pull down the firewall so I may send an iPay password to an employee.
• Last week I accidentally spilled OJ on my keyboard and now they space bar is sticking... really hard to push. Can I get a replacement until mine can be cleaned.
• Help I lost my printer!
• I really apologize for this. I was unexpectedly out of the office last Thursday afternoon and all of Friday. I had some files in U:\Public that I did not transfer to a permanent location before I left. Would someone recover them for me? Of course, I can’t remember the exact file names. (NOTE: all files in our U:\Public are erased every Sunday night)
• I am traveling to Texas (from San Diego) next week. Please have a laptop available for me to use when I arrive. (NOTE: After some investigation, we found out she already has a laptop. She just did not want to carry it on the plane!!! Now that's what I call lazy!)
• What have you guys done to my computer???????????????????????????????????? (NOTE: This is all the message said. Little more explanation would have been nice.)
• Opps, I jammed my printer. Tried to fix. But failed. Please help
• Word does not work appropriately on my computer.
• My computer time to time is making horrific noise. Please check. It may be dying.